The Man behind the Mask

For years, I was the man I thought I was supposed to be.

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At 27, I was a design director, splitting my time between London and New York, chasing what I call the "patriarchal dream." I had the high-status job, the money, the flat by the river, the girlfriend - all the boxes were ticked. On paper, my life looked perfect. Luxurious, even.

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But I was dying inside.

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That success was a mask for a deep emptiness. I was lost, disconnected from any real purpose, and trying to please everyone but myself. The pressure to achieve, to be more, to climb higher, was immense. I numbed it all with alcohol, with cocaine, with the constant motion of a life that was running from itself. I was disconnected from my partner, from my friends, and most of all, from the man in the mirror.

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Then one night in a New York hotel room, my body called bullshit.

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I was coming back from a business trip, the culmination of weeks of non-stop work and partying. A pain that had been growing in my chest for two weeks suddenly exploded down the left side of my body. My face dropped, my arm and leg went numb, and I couldn't speak. I was 27 years old, having a stroke.

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That was the first crack in the mask.

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I made it back to the UK, but the man who returned was a ghost. The stroke triggered a deep depression and a series of terrifying panic attacks. A few months later, I hit rock bottom. I tried to take my own life, only to be found by my mother.

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I went from a high-flying director to a broken man who couldn't even dress himself. The Western medical system offered me a cocktail of drugs that turned me into a walking zombie, but they couldn't offer me a way out. I was told I was "too suicidal for help."

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It was a few days after that, contemplating doing it again, that I had the one realisation that changed everything:

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No one was coming to save me.

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I had to be the one to pull myself out. I had to take radical responsibility for my life.

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That decision was the beginning of a six-year journey around the world. I left everything behind and went in search of answers. I sat in temples in India and Nepal, healing centers in Thailand and Bali, and workshops all around Europe. I studied yoga, meditation, Eastern philosophy, and plant medicine. I did the work.

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But the most powerful map I found was a book that landed on my desk in 2018: King, Warrior, Magician, Lover. It was my first introduction to the masculine archetypes and the world of men's work.

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For the first time, I had a framework to understand the shadows that had been running my life: the Addict Lover, the Workaholic Warrior, the abdicated Prince. Men's work gave me the tools to go into the psychological wounds that spirituality alone couldn't heal. It taught me how to move from boy psychology to man.

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I didn't create The Unmasked Man because I had all the answers. I created it because I knew I wasn't the only one asking the questions.

I built it from my scars, not as a monument to my pain, but as a lighthouse for other men lost in the same storm.

This work is my commitment to service, and my own journey never ends.

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Your journey begins now and I’m honoured to walk beside you.